Left

May was horrible. It was busy and stressful and I had a hard time finding things to write about because I was in a horrible mood most of the month and even if there were things to write about, I didn’t have time! I guess that’s where this blog comes in. I just got back from a little three day “mini-vacation”. It is the best thing I have done in a whole month. Sometimes to slow down and gain perspective, you just have to get away (no, this is not a Southwest Airlines commercial). The little man in my head was running around so furiously that he just couldn’t stop until he got punched out by a baseball game and a couple of cosmos with friends.
Here is a run-down of some stuff that helped calm my ass down.

1.Left town first thing in the morning after a rough 3 weeks. It was like I left right before my brain was going to explode. Best thing: No brain explosion.

2.Went straight to a baseball game. Best thing: No time to worry about all the stuff I left undone.

3.Went out with friends. Best thing: Adult conversation with like-minded, interesting and super funny people. My face hurt from smiling so much.

4.Ate Starbucks for breakfast TWICE. Best thing: Perfect oatmeal and strong coffee. I don’t think I have to explain how happy these two things make me. Happiness in paper cups, baby.

5.Worked out at the hotel. Best thing: No guilt about eating badly and having a few too many adult beverages.

6.Got hugs and love from a ten year old. Best thing: I’m pretty sure this child is on earth to make people feel loved and that’s what she did for me.

7.3 days with Jim without the stress of his work and mine. Best thing: Reminded me of how much fun we have together when I’m not being a raving lunatic.

I’m back home now and I can feel my little man gearing up, but he is definitely slower than he was just a few days ago. Hell, he probably got a stress fracture from over-exertion. My goal, in baseball terms, is to strike him out couple of times in the next couple of weeks and hopefully send him down to Triple A for the rest of the summer.

Body Combat...Yes, Body Combat

Last week one of the 25 year old trainers at my gym invited me to a “body combat” class. I HATE fitness classes. Everything about those classes stresses me out. I always feel like I’m going to be the only one in the class who can’t do something or I’m going to fall off one of those stupid stability balls onto my butt and everybody will point and laugh. So, combining the not-so-fun working out with possible humiliation is seriously not my thing. To add to the issue, the trainer is 25 and is a tiny, tiny little blonde muscle. I think she weighs 95 pounds soaking wet, but somehow still looks like she could bend a freaking crowbar in half. I don’t know her, but my hope is that she is a horrible witch. It’s only fair if you get to look like that.
However, I’ve had a terrible time with my workouts. I’ve been doing them, but I haven’t been working very hard and I have been hating it. The worst part is the hating it. It’s not good to have to do something every day that you dread all day long. So, in an effort to “shake things up”, I decided to give the class a try. Plus, the little hulkish fairy-princess has been hounding me all week and I just grow weary of avoiding her.
Body Combat is misleading. It has nothing to do with hitting or boxing or weapons. Which is probably a good thing since sometimes after a class people want to kill the trainer…that would just make it too easy. It’s basically a circuit training that mixes strength training and cardio. It’s nothing I would do myself, as it includes all these bands, straps, balls and other fitness accoutrements that I think are faddish nonsense. I obviously have a very positive attitude about the class already…
I start worrying about doing (or not doing) the class on Friday. Sunday I plan my entire day around this class and by 5, I’m ready to head out the door. Class starts at 5:30 and the gym is 2 minutes from my house. When I get there, I ask at the front where the hulkish fairy-princess’ class is going to be and they look on the schedule but can’t find it. Sweet!!! Oh wait…there it is….grrrr. I head back there and nobody is in the room, but it’s early so I hang out to stretch and worry. Then, I see her flitting around. I look at the clock; it’s 5:25 and I realize that it’s me and tinkerbell and I’m frightened. She knows I’m at the gym everyday and she is going to try to kill me with her crazy 25 year old fitness voodoo. She walks up and says, it’s just me and you and I was going to cancel but I have to workout anyway, so you can just follow me and do my workout. OH CRAP (that was me, not her)! So she gets her torture toys and we head to the weights area and we workout. I hung with her on just about everything. I really did. I could do everything except one excercise (which I think she made up on the spot to prove her fitness superiority).
Her: 25
Me: 41
Winner: ME! If you’re not first you’re last, baby! Everything is a competition to me and by my calculations I seriously won. Mostly because I realized that I can do more than I thought and it made me look forward to my workout today. She wasn’t a great a trainer but it helped me get out of my funk. I’m even gonna hire her to kick my butt a little more. Truthfully, I’m really not sure I need her, but I sure did like seeing that little girl get red-faced and sweaty…enough that I’m gonna pay to see it again. Hey, she’s sore today, right? Like can’t really walk quite right sore. Yeah, she is…I’m sure of it.

Worked a puzzle

The other day I took this “Real Age” test on the internet. A friend sent me the link and so I took the test in hopes that it would tell me that my mythical “real” age was like 25 even though my chronological age is 41. Here are some things they told me…and how I, at the REAL age of 41, intend to respond to their suggestions
1. To lengthen my life I need to have a dog.
Response: I don’t like dogs. I like other people’s dogs just fine, but I don’t want one. Any additional years added to my life from petting dogs is taken off by the stress of cleaning up pee, poop and dog hair.
2. I don’t eat anywhere near enough vegetables.
Response: I know it and I’m trying. Get off my case. Why didn’t they ask me if I eat burgers and fries…I don’t so I’m thinking no burgers and fries adds the days that not enough vegetables take off.
3. I don’t drink enough milk.
Response: Milk makes my stomach hurt and produces unpleasant bi-products if ya know what I’m sayin’. Everybody will be happier if I don’t drink milk.
4. I don’t exercise like “they” say I should.
Response: I spend 1 hour, 6 out of 7 days a week at the gym and I can wear short skirts…I’m fine, really. I’ll give some thought to “adding another activity”….okay, I’m done, there will be no new activity.
5. Suggested I do puzzles to “keep my brain sharp”
Response: THIS I can do! And that, my friends, is the best thing of the day.
I used to do puzzles all the time. When I was a little kid I loved to do word finds. I then graduated to crosswords. Although, I went back to doing one word find a month in college because my grandmother would cut the monthly word find out of her AARP magazine and send it to me in a care package. (That’s right, I had the best grandmother on the planet.)Then in my later 20’s I started doing logic puzzles. Now, in my 40’s I play on Facebook. Hey, that’s not a puzzle…nope and it ain’t keepin’ the old synapses firing either.
My little quiz had a link to a crossword of the day. Crosswords on the computer ROCK!! You don’t have to erase and you don’t get ink all over your hands (and subsequently your face when you rub your nose)! This is seriously awesome. Now, the bad news, I suck at crossword puzzles now! I can’t think of, well, words. Hell, I had trouble understanding some of the clues and this isn’t the New York Times puzzle or anything. Yep, time to spend a little less time Facebooking and a little more time using my brain.
By the way, my “real” age, according to the quiz, is 39.1.
Response: Whatever.

Saw a little kid who thought she was Wonder Woman

At Costco yesterday I saw a tiny little girl, maybe about 5 years old pushing a basket. It wasn’t a regular sized grocery basket either. It was one of those huge Costco mongo-baskets that, if filled, could feed the hungry children of Ethiopia. She had fallen behind her parents and was pushing that basket at full speed. She couldn’t even reach the handle on the cart! She was pushing it with all her might down the aisle and around the corner. It did not seem to occur to her that the cart was 10 times her size and that she shouldn’t be able to push that big ole thing or that she might hurt herself or any of that. She just did it like it was no big deal. I said to my husband, “ There’s not going to be anything in that kid’s life that she’ll think she can’t do.”
It got me wondering when we turn into the scared adults that we are. Sorry, the scared adult that I am…I won’t speak for you courageous folks! Once upon a time did I just do things without considering that I might fail? I can’t imagine doing that now. I analyze every aspect of every task and assess the failure-factor. If the failure-factor is great, then, hey man, you can forget it…I am not going to even give it a shot. I love nothing better than success and the idea that I might NOT be able to do something and FAIL in FRONT of people is almost terrifying. How did that happen? Whose fault is that? Mine?! No way, quit that crazy talk!
I guess everybody is afraid to fail to some extent. I just wonder when that doubt sets in and why my doubt seems “bigger” than other people’s doubt. This is a large and important issue in my life and really impacts my choices and opportunities. I can’t say that seeing this little girl has magically fixed this crazy-corner of my brain, but next time I’m scared to try something I’m gonna picture that tiny little girl pushing that enormous basket at break-neck speed with the confidence of…well, a five year old Wonder Woman.

Created something

I haven’t been writing my blog because it started to feel like a job. I mean it really did. At first it was something that really did make me feel good about my day, but then I felt this pressure to entertain my small (all be it loyal) readership. My husband said something to me yesterday that was really interesting. He said he would trade his ability to do something well for the ability to create something lasting. I started thinking about that. He was specifically talking about writing a book or music or creating a piece of art. I said, well doesn’t everybody want to be able to create something? It made me think about my blog and why I decided to write it. At first, it was to make me acknowledge the positive things that happen on regular ole days. Now, I think it is the thing that I’m creating. I’m pretty sure my blog wasn’t the kind of lasting “creation” he was talking about but it’s my creation and it’s meaningful to me. So, if you will indulge me, I will begin posting again and shamelessly advertising it via my Facebook page!

Found a new obsession

I’ve probably mentioned before that I’m not a “half-way” person. When I start doing something, I do it. This is why I should never try heroine…not the point of this post, but definitely true. I decide to lose weight; I lose 110 pounds. I decide to start exercising; I have rarely missed a workout in 6 years. I start being a Texas Ranger fan; I almost insist on watching every game (tv or otherwise, I’ll even listen to it on the radio in a pinch). I eat a candy bar; I eat 10 candy bars. I get on Facebook and start playing Bejeweled; I play for hours. You get the picture. It ain’t always healthy, but that’s who I am. I become obsessed/addicted easily. I prefer to call it “focused” or “intense” or “crazy”…wait, not that last one!

My husband decided to create a fantasy baseball league with some friends on Facebook. Because fantasy baseball is a competition, I was all about it. Right away I started researching how to put my players in draft order. You think this would be easy…put the good players and players you want on your team high on the list. However, after much research, I find out that a lot of thought and consideration need to go into this process. Here is something you should know, baseball keeps A LOT of statistics. So, the logical thing for me to do is make a spreadsheet, right? I told you, “crazy”. My husband talked me off the spreadsheet ledge, but I still spent an obscene amount of time doing research. Turns out the good players and players I liked ended up at the top, grrrr. Then, all I had to do was wait for the draft!!!

My team drafted today! I really don’t know what I’m doing, but I can tell you that I have spent a lot of time doing it. I’m shifting players and trying to figure who I want to trade with. I’m looking up stats of players, again. I have set my roster for the whole week to try to maximize my stats or at least I think that’s what I’ve done. Again, I don’t know what I’m doing! It is so exciting!! Why? I have no freaking idea. I think whoever wins gets beer and barbecue or something equally as obtainable without winning the fantasy baseball thingy-ma-jig. But it’s my new obsession and it was totally fun tonight messing with it all. By the way, my team is called the SA Sluggers…what a stupid name! Next year I’m going to do a little research on rockin' fantasy baseball team names! Go Sluggers!!

Planted flowers

I know what you are thinking. That I’m going to wax poetic about the coming of spring and how I absolutely love to garden and watch the efforts of my labor bloom into a colorful little space on earth. Nope. I don’t like to get dirty. Gardening involves dirt, strike one. I don’t like sitting in grass because it makes you get itchy. You have to sit somewhere while you’re digging in the dirt, strike two. I like instant gratification and you have to wait for them to bloom… “wait” isn’t really accurate since you have to do a bunch of work to make sure they bloom, strike three.
So, you would think I wouldn’t bother, but last year, my husband planted two flowering plants in a tiny little area in front of our house and they grew and grew and they were just so pretty. We bought those same flowers the other day and I planted about 18 of them and three gerbera daisies (?) just because I like them. Oh, and the daisies were big and already had flowers on them, score!! It was the best thing I did today because normally I would buy them and then they would sit in the little plastic holders until they died.
I don’t feel any remorse for all the plants I have killed in my life, because my intentions are always good. I always think I’m going to water them and mess with them and maybe even enjoy doing these things. It never happens. It’s just too much work for WAY too little reward. More power to you folks who feel the “kinship” with the earth and all that. Really, I admire the hard work people put into making beautiful gardens and flowerbeds, but I am not ever going to be one of those people. All that being said, they look pretty and I’m looking forward to seeing them bloom…as of 11:15pm, they are still alive. Woohoo!

Watched a proud mama

Today I was able to go see a young band director take his band to a contest. Don’t quit reading…it’s not about music again! Without getting too technical, I will say that his band received the highest marks possible and they were well deserved. The kids were focused, played well, and remembered all those things the director had told them 100 times. I completely enjoyed the performance and was proud of my young friend.
His mom was in the audience today. She listened to his kids play on stage and then followed them into the sight reading room. Again, I’ll need to give some background for those readers who don’t speak “music educator”. The kids and director are given a piece of music appropriate to their skill level (based on size of school and other factors) and the director has a few minutes to explain this piece that they have never seen. The students then play the piece one time for a panel of judges who then give them a score. No, they don’t get a “practice”. One chance and done. During the short amount of time the director is given to explain the piece there is a ton of vocabulary used that, if you aren’t a musician, might as well be Swahili (unless, of course, you speak Swahili)….very, very quickly spoken Swahili. My friend’s mom watched him with wide eyes give these instructions to riveted 12 and 13 year olds. Afterward, she told me that she was amazed at how he instructed the children and how proud she was of how well they were taught. She didn’t really just say it, she beamed it.
I think that at the end of the day, a year, or a life all we really want to do is make our mamas proud, or dads, or both. We long for that day when we can show them that they did a good job and made a good person and a successful person. That we are something or do something that makes a difference. Today I saw that in that mama’s eyes. It was glistening and unmistakable. I know that mine was proud of me. I miss that look, though. He’s a lucky kid.

Got to the finish line

The best things about vacation are eating and drinking more than you normally would, working out when and if you want to, staying up late, sleeping-in, and just shutting down a little. The worst thing about vacation is the first day after all that. Today was that day.
About 1am I decided that four and a half hours of sleep wasn’t going to be enough to complete an entire day of work (even if my job doesn’t include heavy lifting) plus an evening workout, so I turned off the lights and tried to get my head and body to believe that it was sleepy. Well, they sure enough believed it at about 2:30 this afternoon!
Well, I got past the 2:30 mark and started thinking about the aforementioned evening workout…yikes! Hey, I worked ALL day, how could I possibly do any kind of decent workout? Well, when it came time I did it…it was “half-assed” as my mother used to say, but it was a workout.
Next hurdle: dinner. Why am I eating at 8pm? And why, after I eat my normal non-vacation portioned dinner, am I starving only two and half hours later? Really, is this all I eat? Crap! No wonder I am grumpy when it isn’t vacation.
I can see the day’s finish line at this point but there is one more thing I haven’t done since I left for the beloved vacation. I gotta do it. I strip down, because it is important that my bra and jewelry don’t move me into a higher weight class, and I step on the scale. Shewwww…not bad!
So, the best thing about today, and I mean this with no real negativity, is that I got through it and did pretty much my whole routine. It was a sort of a normal day-lite. Like lite beer, it ain’t really the same but it generally gets the itch scratched. I’m hoping tomorrow will be sort of an amber beer day and by the end of the week, I think I’ll be back to a stout. Beer analogies…I need some sleep.

Spent time with people who got it right

Sorry for the long gap between posts, but it was vacation! So, to make up for it, I’m going to write about the best thing about vacation…well, besides the 85 degree weather, the relaxation, and the baseball!
As I wrote in my last post, we stay with my husband’s dad and step-mom when we go to Arizona for our spring vacation. Their “winter” place is in a retirement community. Sounds like a yawner, right? Here’s a run-down of the activities that the “old folks” had goin’ on…
Jeeping (like out in the freakin’ desert…seriously)
Hiking
Walking/Running/Biking (at like dark-thirty)
Panning for gold (like in the olden days, bending over with an actual pan in a stream or whatever)
Water Volleyball
Caring for pets and doing shelter work
Gardening, tree trimming, general upkeep of pretty little vacation places
And everyday at around 5pm folks head out to socialize with their neighbors. They have conversations, a drink (or two), maybe some snacks. They are all incredibly smart with interesting stories and lives. They are all so welcoming and friendly.
Sometimes, when I think about getting “old” I get really, really scared. Honestly, I’ve always thought that I would rather live a short life and not deal with getting old. Being around these people has changed my mind. They worked hard and now they play hard. They don’t sit around waiting for things to “happen” to them. They live and enjoy and engage. This is how I want to be. I never want to sit around and let things happen to me. I want to be like Bob, Mary, Dave, Mike, Bev, Debbie, Anne, Lindy, Lorie, Mollie…the list goes on. Thanks for letting me hang out with you and for making me want to get older…wiser…better.

Remembered

There were a bunch of awesome things about today…I’m on vacation, you see!! However, the best thing was totally unexpected. I might as well just tell you now, that from now until October there will be more than one post about baseball, specifically Texas Ranger baseball. I LOVE it. I grew up the child of a sports-crazed mother and I have always watched and enjoyed sports. My husband is a long time Ranger fan and so I, not surprisingly, became a fan, too. Every spring we take this trip to Arizona to visit Jim’s dad and step-mom (HI, DAD, my most faithful reader!!) but it just so happens that the Rangers have their spring training here as well. So, we spend almost a week hanging out with Dad and Mary, and watching the Rangers. It is totally fun and relaxing. Today we went to practice and it was great. I got my picture taken with CJ Wilson and Josh Hamilton…very cool…but not the best thing. The best thing was at the beginning of the game when the announcer said, “Please rise and remove your hats for the National Anthem sung today by Charlie Pride”. Woohoo!! Seriously, I love Charlie Pride. You know, “Kiss an Angel Good Morning” Charlie Pride?! He did a great job. It was nice and easy and he sang the right pitches. It didn’t sound like a “dude who thinks he can sing” performance like most of the national anthem performances at sporting events. Kinda like reading my blog vs. reading the blog of an actual writer…it just isn’t really the same thing. I know, I know, you’re thinking Charlie Pride…and I know there are many of my musician friends who will read what I’ve just written and cringe. Here’s the deal. When I was a little girl I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. I adored them and every second I spent with them. In the summers, I would stay with them and every morning my grandmother turned on the country station in the kitchen while she made breakfast. In the afternoons while she was sewing she would put on a stack of OLD country records on the stereo (one of those old console things that was big enough to have Thanksgiving dinner on) and they would play and drop one at a time, then I would get to turn them over and we’d listen to the other side of the records. I grew up listening to Charlie Pride, along with many much older and much “twangier” country crooners. Listening to Charlie Pride sing the National Anthem today made me think of my grandmother, the best woman I have ever known, and her saying “good morning sunshine” to me every morning of every summer I spent with my grandparents. Music is about making you feel, no matter who sings it, plays it, or its genre. Thanks, Charlie, for making me feel happy today.

Learned something new

I’ve gone to a mini-conference and a workshop in the last month. Honestly, neither one of them taught me much. They were vaguely interesting and a nice change of pace, but truthfully not very useful or engaging. I never go to trainings/workshops for those very reasons, but I really needed to LEARN something. I’m just nearly aching to learn something new. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I know everything, or even very much, but I’m a pretty quick study and I love to learn how to do new things.
I mentioned in a meeting the other day that I could create this form that would do this and that and go here and there and make spaghetti on Tuesday nights. Well, I knew it was possible (okay not the entrée), but I didn’t really have a clue as to how. I also knew I had a program that I thought I could use to accomplish this…again, no clue how to even begin. Today I had some time and dove in.
After about an hour of bumping around in the program, I decided a little googling might help. After all, it had been an hour and I still didn’t even understand how to populate one of the fields correctly…(turns out you click on an icon…I’m a freakin’ genius).
First google attempt, I can’t even understand what the author is talking about. All the words are English and I’ve heard these words before, but they make no sense to me in these combinations.
Second google attempt, still a little perplexing but it does guide me a little. I start playing around again and I start gettin’ it. I’m getting one element at a time, but I’m getting it.
So, now it’s lunch time. My boss suggests that I call his wife because she’ll know how to do it for sure. He’s totally right. I’m sure she knows exactly how to do it and could easily guide me through the process. I decide that I’m going to give myself a little more time, then I’ll ask her to help me (this is what a loser does…says my brain).
I come back from lunch pretty confident and rightly so! I knocked the rest of it out and sent it to a couple people for a test-drive. Worked like a charm. I realize that it would have been faster to get help, but sometimes it’s just about the challenge. We may not even use the form, but I learned something new today and that was cool.

Felt my age

Tonight we did two distinctly different things.
The first: went to a fancy-pants movie house to see the new Roman Polanski flick. This place was completely cool. Before your movie you can order a nice glass of wine and wander through the art exhibit. This month the featured artist is a local fellow and we enjoyed looking at his paintings before our movie. I notice as we are walking around that the clientele seems….mature. While you enjoy your film, you can have dinner and drinks. I had a wonderful turkey sandwich with a citrus and cranberry chutney. You know how when you go to the movies you always kind of eavesdrop on people’s conversations…okay, well, I do. I notice that all the folks around us are making very intelligent conversation, nobody is texting or playing on their iphone. Right before the movie starts, I decide to run to the ladies’ room. I turn around to face a sea of old folks. I look carefully and assess that my husband and I are easily the youngest couple in the joint! Well, we aren’t old, but I’m on blood pressure medication and he’s on cholesterol medication and neither one of us can sleep much past 7am anymore, that’s all I’m sayin’. After the movie we talk about how much we loved this place, how great the service was, how polite the clientele was, and how we will most definitely go back.
The second: met one of my husband’s co-workers at a bar/restaurant for a drink. He’s in his 20s and has been seeing a young lady in her 20s (as is the custom) and being the cupid (or nosey-rosey) that I am, I wanted to meet her. There was another couple there as well, both of them were in there mid-ish/late-ish 20s. Lovely couples. Intelligent young people. I had no idea what the hell they were talking about most of the time we were there!! Hulu? No cable?…watching TV somehow using a computer and this hulu thing. And lots of texting and looking at phones while they are talking to one another. I can’t keep up with the conversation between the technology and fast talking! I just felt like Ma and Pa Kettle. I really like to think I’m “hip” and “cool” but I’m pretty sure neither of these words will be used to describe me when the kiddos discuss meeting me! Although, “she looks great for her age” might creep in there.
The conclusion: Turns out, here it is folks, I AM OLD! And guess what? I really like it!! I like the calm and easiness of it. I like the slow conversation. I like just chillin’ with a glass of wine looking at art and eating a sandwich that has chutney on it! Reflecting on the evening, it’s possible that those people at the fancy-pants movie house weren’t THAT much older than me…nah, no way…hmmm???

Enjoyed the gift of coffee

This morning I went downstairs and heard this awful noise. It was the sound of our coffee maker NOT brewing coffee, but really trying. It was like it was in labor. I look at the coffee pot and realize that it is EMPTY. I bang on the coffee maker in hopes that something will shake lose and coffee will be born. Nothing. This is a horrible, horrible turn of events for me and for those who must spend any amount of time with me. So, I get these sample instant coffee packets that I grabbed at Starbucks ages ago and make some of that. By the way, this is after the cussing and grumbling. Well, not really after because that went on for hours. I guess “while” I was cussing and grumbling is more accurate. I thought the instant coffee tasted like dirty water and that made me even angrier. Here is where I write how at some point during the morning I realize that people have much bigger problems than no coffee for one day and I’m so lucky……Oh, wait, no it’s not…..I wanted my freaking coffee! I enjoy little of what I ingest on a daily basis, using food as fuel and not really eating things I love (enchiladas, ice cream, fried chicken, cheeseburgers….the list goes on, but you get it). Coffee is THE thing that I enjoy most about my eating day. I was so mad. I was a big jerk at work and over-reacted to everything. The day was a total waste. Then, in walks my husband with a big ‘ole cup of McD’s coffee in his hand! I’ve never had McD’s coffee, but it was like he had given me a diamond ring with a tiara to match! Oh, happy day. I love this man! I drank my coffee and it made me giddy. I know this is wrong and I don’t care. Thank you, my dear, for making my day!! Second best thing I did today: buy a new damn coffee pot.

Be a good American

Today I voted in the state primary election. Don’t you love that feeling you have after you vote? It makes me feel very powerful. I know that I am only one vote, but it doesn’t matter. Lately, politics have been so ugly and partisan and I really try not to buy into the cynicism of the masses. That’s why today is so great. I feel so proud when I vote. I am proud of my country and proud of my state. Making those choices makes me feel better about our future. Don’t get me wrong, I holler and scream at the TV about political topics and generally think that everybody besides me is so obviously wrong. If politicians would all just listen to me, I’m pretty sure we’d all be holding hands, enjoying perfect healthcare, paying equitable taxes, working at fair paying jobs, and saying please and thank you! But until I’m asked, I suppose I’ll just go to the polls and make those important choices. Yay, America!! Okay, so Canada has a really awesome National Anthem, but still….Yay, America!!

Decided to stand closer to the fire

This is going to be a difficult post to write. We all grow up with “stuff”. I don’t think things in my past were any harder or easier than anybody else’s. However, your experiences and the people around you can’t help but impact the way you trust and the way you build and maintain relationships. I have realized today that shielding yourself so fiercely from somebody or something negative might also cause you to shield yourself from people and experiences that could be really wonderful. I am not really a good relationship maintainer. I am friendly and I love people, but I’m not a great “truster”. I sort of figure that eventually everybody is going to let you down, so I don’t give many people the opportunity to do that. I’ve decided to change that. I’ve decided that maybe I should try to build some relationships that are right there waiting to be built…almost begging to built. That maybe taking a chance will open up that part of me that makes me stand just a little too far from campfire to get really warm because I’m a little afraid that a spark is gonna set me on fire. This is by far the most personal post I’ve written and it is a little weird to throw it out for anybody to read….or at least the 5 people who actually read my blog! But it is definitely the best thing I did today. Maybe it will be the best thing I’ve ever done. I won’t know if I don’t give it a shot.

Played my "horn"

Today, I did a couple of things that could have made my blog, but the best thing I did was get my flute out this evening and play. I used to teach flute full time. Which means, at one point in my life, I was playing from 7:30am to about 9pm, five days a week. That is a ton of playing and teaching. I loved it. I have had a career change and don’t teach flute anymore, which means, I don’t play much anymore, either. But today, I judged some middle school kiddos play at a solo contest. When I got home, I decided to get out my “horn” (as we say in the biz). Man, what a revelation! I had forgotten how amazing it is to be able to play. I didn’t sound like I used to and it didn’t matter so much. It is the most rewarding thing EVER. It is completely mentally and physically engaging. There is nothing else I do that takes over my total mind and soul like playing. That sounds corny, but it is completely true. You have to be totally aware of what is on the page, what is happening with your fingers and breathing, and what is artistically coming from the instrument. It is so difficult!! I have decided that I will never go this long without playing again. It is a gift that can never be replaced by anything else. Today, I wished that I still taught flute all day. What an amazing gift to give. I am so lucky that my teachers gave it to me.

Ordered new glasses

For a person who wears glasses everyday, this a major deal. It’s like plastic surgery without the pain, price tag, or permanence. You change your looks and you’re sorta stuck with it for the next year or so…especially if you’re cheap like me and refuse to buy more than one pair of glasses per prescription. So, today was the picking out of the frames and I can’t wait to see what they actually look like when I get them back with real lenses in them. It’s difficult when you have vision like I do, “Mr. Magoo-ish” is how I would describe it, because I can’t really tell how they look because, oh guess what, I can’t SEE! I get really close to the mirror and do my mandatory head tilt and hair flip, but I’m so close to the mirror that really I’m just looking at my eyes and not my whole face. So, hopefully I won’t look like a big dope next week when they come in. Oh, here’s something new for me…I bought prescription sunglasses, too! And they are oh, so movie star!! Again, let’s hope I don’t look like I’m wearing those “shades” they give you at the eye doctor after you’ve had your eyes dilated! My husband said they made me look like Audrey Hepburn. Which you think would be good, but I’ve heard him say more than once that “Audrey Hepburn looks like a giraffe”…hmmm. This entry is neither inspiring nor entertaining, but it is the best thing I did today. Who knows, maybe next week I’ll post pics with me in my new glasses…ha….fat chance!

Broccoli

Today, I ate broccoli. Several weeks ago I decided that I was going to make a concerted effort to eat fruits and vegetables. Not a big deal, right? Well, yeah, it kinda is. I like fruits and vegetables well enough. I mean, they’re not a cheeseburger and fries, but they’re fine. The problem is two-fold. First, I have figured out that I can maintain my figure and only eat a few veggies here and there. If I had to eat them to stay in my jeans, then, baby, I would be eating some serious roots, and plants, and what not. But, honestly, that’s just not the case. Second, it takes actual effort to eat fruits vegetables. Let’s begin with fruit, you have to pick the right ones or they taste, well, for lack of more sophisticated verbiage, nasty. I have a difficult time finding the 10 minutes in which a plum tastes good. On to veggies, the problem here is laziness. I hate to cook. I love food from a can, box, or some sort of carton/tub that resides in the refrigerator and takes less than 5 minutes to prepare. I don’t like cutting, chopping, steaming…what an enormous pain in the butt!! So, in light of my issues, I have decided to buy frozen veggies which I can prepare pretty quickly, not as quickly as a bowl of cereal but I can handle it. I also have decided that organic fruit really does taste better than the fruit that is not grown by hippies. I’ve begrudgingly started buying organic fruit and giving each piece a big sniff before it gets chosen. The ones that don’t make the cut get tossed back into the pile with nose germs on them…maybe it makes them more organic?? So, I’ve been doing a great job on my new goal. I’ve eaten plants and crap every day! Well, except that one day I made beanie-weenie…shut up, I used turkey hotdogs!

Didn't get on Facebook

Normally, on a Sunday morning, I have breakfast, and while I leisurely drink the beautiful elixir that is coffee, I get on Facebook to do my stalking. After I finish my daily dose of stalking, I go to my “farm”. Yes, I am a farmer-girl. My farmer name is Mabelle. Why do I do this? I have no clue. It is utterly useless. It is time consuming and provides no real benefit to my life, yet I must make certain that none of my fictitious fruits and veggies “go to waste”. What a travesty that would be…to whom, I’m just not sure…maybe fictitious starving children? So, I harvest, work on other people’s farms, plow my farm, replant my farm, and send gifts to my other crazed farmer friends. This takes a significant amount of time and effort and when I’m finished I really need a break. Enter Bejeweled Blitz. This is one of those “twitch” games (I’m told that’s what they are called). Anyway, the problem here is that they put your friends’ scores right there on the board! Well, I am not going to let them all beat me! So, I play until I have a higher score than at least one of my friends. This also takes a significant amount of time and gets very stressful since you have to be very quick to obtain a high score. So, to calm down, I play Brick Breaker. This is a game to be played at your leisure. However, they once again make it a competition so I am obligated to play until I beat SOMEBODY! WELL, NOT TODAY!! I got up ate my breakfast, drank my coffee, and started my Sunday chores. I had all the errands run, grocery shopping finished, and ½ the laundry done by 1pm! Which left plenty of time the rest of the day for stalking, farming, obsessive competition, and more stalking. I love a good productive Sunday!

Run, baby, run

At the gym today I ran. I was so happy that I smiled the entire time. People coming in either smiled back, seeming to enjoy my happiness or they looked at me like I had escaped from the mental institution. I couldn’t help it, though. I was listening to my ipod and every song was better than the next and nothing was hurting! (see previous post about injury) I was really, honestly happy. I sort of put things into perspective during that short run. I realized that running a little is better than not running. I can’t really explain now how everything seemed right with the world while I was running that 3 miles. I just felt lucky and grateful. I have so much and today I got that little part of my life back and I felt so grateful for everything…the music, my strength, my new running shoes (thank you, honey…they were my valentine’s present), and my unbelievably awesome life. My husband used to have the song “Check Yes Juliet” as my ring tone. Here is part of the chorus:
Lace up your shoes…Run, baby, run….don’t ever look back…
He changed it when I got hurt because it made me sad. I think I’m ready for him to put it back.

Took a nap

I’m not a good nap-taker, just like I’m not a great at home movie-watcher. I always think about the things I could be doing besides taking a nap or watching a movie. When I got home from my conference today, I was so tired. It could have been the hour of statistics I listened to that zapped the energy out of everybody at the workshop…even 5 cups of coffee couldn’t keep me alert. But it was probably all the stress of worrying about driving (see previous post)! At any rate, I took a nap. I think that maybe it wasn’t the nap that was the best thing about the day, though. I think it was that I didn’t feel guilty about taking a nap! It was great! After I woke up, I cleaned the house a little and probably got more done than I would have if I hadn’t gotten some rest. I guess that maybe sometimes it’s okay to just stop for a minute…okay it was an hour and a half, but you get the point!

Didn't freak out

I hate to drive. My husband drives us everywhere. Sometimes I won’t go places just because I don’t want to drive. I hate the traffic and the other drivers, who are, by the way, all rude and FAR less careful than I! Today, I am in Austin for a conference and Austin is traffic hell. Not only is the traffic inhumane, it is freaky difficult to get around. The next thing you need to know about my driving ability is that I have NO sense of direction. None. To me, north is whichever way I’m facing. I get lost going to the grocery store in my own neighborhood…seriously. So, naturally, I couldn’t sleep all night thinking about all the possible things that could go wrong this morning traveling from my hotel to the conference site. I could get lost, get in a wreck because I’m lost, get stuck in traffic and be embarrassingly late, and worst of all, not be able to find an easily accessible Starbucks on the way. Well, I sort of got lost, but it was an easy fix…and NOT my fault. Streets should have one name, not a name and some number…or, I don’t know, if it has more than one name, could we put BOTH names on the sign??? Anyway, I didn’t really get lost and the traffic didn’t make me freak out! Oh, I got there an hour early…yep, one hour early. You just can’t be too careful!

Chatted with strangers

Last night we went to a wine festival. Fancy, huh? Well, sort of…it is Texas and I don’t care if it is a wine festival, Tejas is Tejas! There were fancy couples, fabulous couples (I think you know what I mean there), and just folks who wanted to get their drink on! We are a little of the first group and a little of the last group! Oh, and there is food at the wine festival, for obvious reasons. It’s very important to have a tamale or two to soak up that cabernet! But what I really love about the wine festival is how everybody is friendly and “chatty”. I love to chat with people, even people I don’t know! I had a conversation the other day with my boss about “civility". I think that what I enjoy most about the wine festival is the mass of civility, ya know? Everybody is polite…excuse me, please, thank you. I think, as a general rule, that civility is not very stylish anymore. So, at the wine festival folks got a little dressed up (another aspect of civility that you don’t often see now a days…says the curmudgeonly old lady), put on their best manners, and enjoyed a little social time with strangers; it was fun. Here’s to civility...it’d be nice if it were like that without the aid of wine...not that I mind the wine!

Enjoyed the "cheat"

I am a food nazi. I worry about every calorie and fat gram that goes into my body. So, I choose my cheats very, very carefully. Today, my husband took me out for my favorite meal, breakfast. I LOVE pancakes, and I especially love these blueberry, orange, granola pancakes at a fancy hotel restaurant downtown. They are so good they don’t even need butter or syrup! The next part of the morning, we attended my husband’s professional convention. On the exhibit floor they have truckloads of chocolate and cookies and yummy stuff. I mean it’s just there for you to take and enjoy…and enjoy, I did!! I ate milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate almonds, chocolate raisins, chocolate turtles (the peanuts and caramel kind, not shell and funny looking head kind), chocolate chip cookie, white chocolate chip cookie, some sort of chocolate chip mint cookie (that one stunk), and finally, the best of all, chocolate with peanut butter. I was literally a kid in a candy store. Okay, I’m not a kid and it wasn’t a candy store, but the effect was the same. I was hopped up on sugar and happy as a clam. I work hard to stay in shape and the days of indulgence are few, and most of those are laced with guilt. Not today…woohoo!

Let it go

I have started this entry four times. I even tried to change my “best thing” to something else, but I ended up going back to this: I got really mad first thing this morning and I then I just let it go. You know how you can just ruin your whole day by getting angry about something somebody did or said? Well, I didn’t do that today. I got mad and just decided not to let it define my day. So, I had an amazingly productive day. I got a ton done and the day zoomed by. I LOVE those days! No cute story today, just a really good day that I pulled from the jaws of anger…HA, that was purely for dramatic effect.

Quit being a big ole whiney-baby

Today I was grumpy and my stomach hurt, and I thought it was going to be hard to find something positive to write about, until around 2 o’clock. I’m shuffling down the hall with a crabby look on my face and a teacher I know quite well is walking towards me. She is smiling, says hello, and asks me how I am doing. I start telling her how I just don’t feel good today…blah, blah, blah…I then realize that the person I’m telling this to has cancer and is going through Chemo…yep. What an idiot I am. I realize how stupid I must seem and tell her, that, you know, really, I’m fine. Actually, I’m great, thanks for asking! So the best thing I did today was gain a little perspective. Tomorrow my stomach is going to be fine and I’m pretty sure the PMS isn’t life-threatening. Tomorrow she is still going to be going through stuff I can’t begin to understand and she’s going to be doing it while she teaches 3rd graders, like she’s done every single day for 30+ years. She taught a 40 year old a little something today.

Changed my routine

I LOVE a rational plan and a successful routine. I hate trying new things that I am not sure I will end up doing successfully. I don’t hate it like a rational person. I mean I hate it in a “she’s just not hooked-up right” kind of way. Well, today I changed my workout. I know, I know, this seems like nothing but it really is a big deal for me! I bought a book with all these crazy exercises with a stability ball. Let’s discuss a stability ball for just a second. It should be called an instability ball. It’s round for heaven’s sake! Consider that before beginning an exercise on the instability ball, one has to “mount” it in some fashion. This really presents all sorts of opportunities to embarrass oneself in front of the gym-going public. Once you have successfully wiggled yourself into position on this thing you are required to perform physical tasks while maintaining your precarious position on the stupid ball. It is hard! I mean, I am in really good shape, people, and it was hard!Today I sucked it up and embarrassingly and clumsily balanced myself on the “ball of satan” and did some stuff pretty poorly. It was easily the best thing I did today.

Talked to somebody from "home"

Today at work I had to do some research and called my former high school in West Texas. I don’t know what you know about West Texas. Here are some unpleasant things about it. It’s dusty. It’s windy. There are tornadoes. It’s flat and mostly brown, even in the spring. It’s about ten years behind in fashion. It’s about 25 years behind in other aspects of modern life. Here’s what’s good about West Texas, the people. Yeah, I know, there are bad people, too. But, for me, some of the kindest, most wonderful people I have ever known are from West Texas. So, today, I talked to a real West Texas Lady. She had that beautiful accent…yes, it is beautiful…it does not mean you are stupid, it means you live in West Texas. She had no idea who I was but was as kind to me as if we were long, lost friends, or better yet like we were “kin”. She was helpful, gracious, and ended the conversation by saying how nice it was to chat with me and to give her a call if I needed anything else. Maybe it has nothing to do with her being from West Texas. All I know is that I could picture her sitting there with perfect make-up, big hair, manicured nails, and a big genuine smile. That made me think of home and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

Watched a teenager dance

Last night I chaperoned a high school band dance. This is not at the top of my list for a Friday night activity, but you do what you gotta do! So, I watched kids dance, eat pizza, play Guitar Hero, and have a great time. I danced a little with them (Party in the USA, thank you, Miley Cyrus) and had a fun time. Hey, did you guys know there is a “dance” for everything now? When I was a teenager, we sorta just got out there and wiggled around, there were no real “steps”. Well, NOT NOW…they have all these “choreographed” dances. It’s like line dancing except harder and to cooler music…very weird. I provided the kids much entertainment trying to learn these dances. It just stressed me out so I went back to my “wiggle around” method! That also seemed to entertain them, too, hmmmm….??? But, by far, the best thing about the night was watching a teenage girl attend her very first dance. She was wide-eyed and proclaimed that the band should have one “every two months”. I’m not sure how she picked that interval, but it sounded about right! She danced with her girl friends and hung around one particular boy quite a lot. The last dance was, of course, a “slow” dance. As I danced with my husband, we spotted our first-timer dancing with that particular boy. I’m not sure I have EVER seen anybody with that big a smile. It was pure happiness and excitement on her face. For me, it’s hard to remember that first slow dance with a boy, but looking at her face, I sure wish I could! It was sweet and innocent and everything it should have been.
Free band parent DJ, left over chips and cokes from the concession stand, 4 hours out of my life, pizza $164.00....happiest 15 year old girl in the world….priceless.

walk around without hurting

It sounds like I have some sort of horrible injury or affliction that makes me spend all my days in pain. This is not the case. Eight months ago, I got a stress fracture in my foot from running. For a runner this is BRUTAL. The hurting is one thing, but the absence of running is just nearly unbearable. Running serves many purposes for me. It keeps me fit, it makes me feel strong and successful, and it gives me time to turn my brain off and just, well, run. All that being said, my foot has hurt every day for 8 months, some days more, some days less. I’ve been adding running back into my workouts VERY slowly. The day after my very short runs, my ankle is always very sore. Yesterday, I ran about 3 miles (not far) and today my foot did NOT HURT!!!! Glory, glory hallelujah! I know this is not interesting to a single person, but it is just enormous for me. So, yep, the best thing about today was not having a sore foot. Did I mention that my hamstrings, quads, and back are sore? Running sucks! ;)

Hung out with an old dude

I used to eat lunch with my husband, but our schedules don’t mesh anymore and so every day I “cook” the yumminess that is my Lean Cuisine in the office kitchen. This is not the social Mecca that you might imagine ;) Now, I spend every lunch with the previously retired old fella who delivers the mail. We have NOTHING in common. He is a politically incorrect, opinionated, old, country coot. So every day we chat and we chat; he doesn’t eat because, well, he has terrible eating habits! He’s a meat and potatoes man. He had a tootsie roll today. Here’s what I’ve learned about my lunch buddy in the last five months. He is genuine. I mean he has not an ounce of pretense in his being. He is funny and makes me chuckle. He is faithful to his God and his family. He loves his grand-daughter enough to raise her since she was born and help her with her “lessons” every single day, even if that math “sure is hard”. I would never tell him, but when he’s not there, I’m disappointed. We’re going to keep trying to solve the world’s problems over a Lean Cuisine and tootsie roll in the office kitchen every day around noon. Maybe one day, I’ll convince him to eat some Greek yogurt….yeah, that’s not going to happen.

I bought snacks....

Yes, that's right, the best thing I did today was buy snacks! I did some other good things today, but really, my favorite was buy snacks. One of my most hated tasks at work is being the buyer, keeper, and organizer of all snacks used in meetings. Yes, this is as ridiculous as it sounds. It takes no skill, intelligence, or talent to accomplish this task so, I hate it! I put it off and get irritated about it. Well, today, with the help of the big boss and his jeep, we went and bought enough snacks, salty and sweet (because that's important..grrr..), to feed a small country. Then to top it off, I ORGANIZED, that's right, internet friends, organized the snacks. I mixed them beautifully, put them in plastic bins for easy access, stacked the remaining unopened boxes neatly, and I didn't eat one thing while I did it! Not even a bite-sized Snickers...mmmmm....snickers....maybe tomorrow the best thing I do will be "eat a bite-sized snickers"!

I stepped outside my "box" today.

Today, I created this blog. Seems like a minor thing but this is WAY out of my comfort zone. I am a "only do it if you know FOR SURE how it's going to come out" kind of person. I have no idea how, or if, this is going to be a fun/positive/meaningful thing for me or for anybody else, but I am giving it a shot. That makes me feel good today, seriously good.

My intent is for people to use the "comment" space to share the thing they did that made them feel good, or great, or successful today...or for comments about my posts or other posts. Wow, this is really, really out of my box....yay me!!!